A whirlwind tour of the history of philosophy, of the “If it’s Tuesday, it must be Descartes” sort. We will not survey the whole landscape, but only hit high points. What is true and what is false about the idea that philosophy and science began on the Turkish coast of the Aegean Sea about 2600 years ago? Does philosophy produce any answers? What about the nature of reality can be found out just by thinking hard? What moral principles are required by reason, or is morality relative? Is an infinite regress impossible? If so, does that prove the existence of God? Were Nazi laws really laws? Do we have free will? What makes it true that 7 + 5 = 12? That Caesar crossed the Rubicon? That electrons exist? That the present moment exists? What sort of social order would you select behind a veil of ignorance as to your place and your talents? Dramatis personae: Thales, Pythagoras, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Kalem, Aquinas, Descartes, Hume, Kant, Einstein, Russell, Quine, and Rawls. No background required.